


What Am I Supposed To Do (If There Is No You)

by lunarknightz



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Cancer, Chemotherapy, F/M, Friends as Family, Gen, friends being there for each other, sick parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarknightz/pseuds/lunarknightz
Summary: Luke gets some really tough news about his Mom (even an estranged Ghost still needs his Mom). His friends won't let him go through it alone.
Relationships: Emily Patterson & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	What Am I Supposed To Do (If There Is No You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadySilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySilver/gifts).



This would go down in band history as perhaps the worst rehearsal in the history of Julie and the Phantoms, tied with the rehearsal the Phantoms had stormed out of to get revenge on Bobby on after discovering their old bandmate had become rich off of their songs. Not even when they were being jolted by Caleb had they been this out of sync, and pitchy. They weren’t clicking and vining together like they normally did. 

It was really freaking Reggie out. He couldn’t remember a time when music didn’t flow. And Luke, Luke had hit five decidedly wrong notes in “Bright” today. The last time that Reggie could remember Luke hitting a wrong note several times in a row was…never.

He wrote the song. Was it that hard to remember the notes? 

“Dude, are you okay?” Reggie said. “You’re hitting more wrong notes than a sixth grade saxophonist in band practice.”

Luke frowned. “You know what, guys….” He said, setting his guitar down. “I’m just not into this today. I think I need to clear my mind. You know, take a walk. I gotta go.” Luke poofed out of the garage.

“Was I wrong for saying something?” Reggie questioned Alex and Julie. “I’m afraid that there is something seriously wrong with Luke.”

“Remember that time when we played the book club and Luke had strep throat and a temperature of 104? He didn’t miss a note then. And today he was all over the place.”

“He did seem off.” Julie nodded. “Should we go find him?”

“He kind of wanted to be alone.” Reggie shrugged. “That’s the read I got.”

“Maybe he’ll talk to you, Jules.” Alex said hopefully. “He’s a bit of a softie where you’re concerned.”

“Dude!” Reggie scolded. “We don’t talk about the eelings-fay in front of the irl-gay!”

Julie blushed and did her best to ignore the elephant in the garage. 

“Wow, Julie will never break that code, Reg. I don’t even think that’s real pig latin.”

“So you guys okay If I go look for Luke?”

“May the force be with you.” Reggie nodded, giving her blessing.

“And also with you.” Julie said with a wink.

****

In the end, Julie found Luke without even trying.

He was curled up on her bed, his head resting on his knees, his shoulders shaking slightly. 

“Luke” Julie said softly. 

Luke raised his head and turned to her. There were tears running down his face. “I know that this kind of breaks all kinds of boundaries, but I didn’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“Boundaries don’t count when a friend is in crisis.” Julie reached to her nightstand and pulled out a kleenex from the box she kept there. Offering the tissue to him, Julie sat down beside him. “Just ask Flynn.” 

Luke blotted his eyes, before the necessity to blow his nose overtook him. “You’d think that when you are dead you wouldn’t ugly cry, but Alex was ugly crying for a quarter of a century.”

“Emotions are part of being human, and you don’t stop being human when you’re not you know, alive.” Julie said with a sigh. “You don’t have to apologize about being sad to me. I wrote the Wikipedia article on teenage moping.” She took a deep breath before continuing to talk. “You didn’t seem like yourself at practice.” 

“I wasn’t my best. I got some news. Some tough news.”

“Do you need to talk about it?” Julie said softly. “I’m here.”

Luke was silent for a few moments, staring down at Julie’s bedspread, errantly playing with a loose thread.  
“I went to see my Mom today.” He looked at Julie, his face full of pain. “And I found out…my mom has cancer.” He leaned into her, and Julie caught him.

She didn’t say a word, just let him cry; running her fingers through his hair. 

****

Julie wasn’t quite sure how much time had passed, but it didn’t matter. Luke needed her.

He was now lying down with his head in her lap, his tears abated for now. 

“I mean, it’s stupid.” He shook his head. “I’m dead, and I’m afraid of losing my Mom.”

“Your Mom is always going to be your Mom, and you are always going to want and need her no matter how old you are, or how alive you are. It’s not stupid to have emotions. Your emotions are part of what makes you a great musician, and a big part of what makes you, you.”

“People weren’t so open with their emotions in the nineties.”

“Well, thank goodness that I missed the nineties completely. It seems like it was a dark time, with gigantic cell phones, weird hair and dial up internet.”

“There was more to the 1990s than what you see on “Saved By the Bell”, you know.”

“I reject that reality and substitute my own.” Julie smirked. “You’ll never convince me otherwise.”

“All the 90’s remakes aren’t as good as the original. Ninja Turtles, Full House, 90210? You know I’m right on that.”

“Anyway. I am your friend, and you don’t have to feel bad about sharing how you feel. That’s what friends are for. God knows I wouldn’t have made it through my Mom being sick if Flynn wasn’t there.”

“Your mom was sick?” Luke asked. “I know that she passed away, but you never really talk about how.”

“Cancer.” Julie said softly. “She had cancer.”

“Do you think that my Mom is going to die?”

“Just because my Mom died doesn’t mean that your Mom will. There are all different kinds of cancers, and it depends on what type she has and how advanced it was when they found it.”

“Endometrial. In her uterus. Which is kind of funny, because I didn’t even know that you could get cancer in that area, especially when you know, you’re past the age of having babies.”

“It’s built in plumbing, Luke. It comes pre-wired, and it doesn’t just fall out.”

“I know that….I just didn’t know.”

“I know.” Julie squeezed his hand lightly. “When I first found out that my Mom was sick, I felt like the world was ending, and that nothing would ever be okay again. And for a long time it wasn’t. And then I met three ghosts in my garage and that’s when my life got really complicated.”

“If I find any more ghosts hiding in your garage, I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Whatever happens, whether your Mom gets well or….the alternative, you’ve got people that care about you. You’ve got Alex and Reggie and Flynn…and me.”

“I just wish, you know that I could do something, to help her.” Luke said sitting up. “Like hold her hand when she’s getting chemo, or sing her a lullaby. But I can’t.”

“I’ve got it.” Julie jumped off the bed and grabbed her laptop. “When my Mom was going through treatment, they wouldn’t let Carlos and I up to see her. So we started making care packages and sending her things.” Julie pulled up Amazon and showed Luke a wish list she had made. “From time to time, I still send one to patients at the same hospital Mom went to. This is a type of mouthwash that helps with sores in the mouth- and she really found this type of ginger gum helpful. Oh, and these hats are so soft and will feel good on her head if she loses her hair; and these fuzzy socks are so warm. What’s her favorite color?”

Luke gazed at Julie in sheer adoration. 

Everytime he thought he had Julie Molina all figured out, she did something else utterly amazing that knocked him off his feet. How was she even real?

“How am I even real?” Julie giggled. “This, coming from a ghost.”

He hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud.

****

Luke hadn’t spent much time in hospitals. He was in one when he was born, sure, and once he’d been in the emergency room when he was ten and broke his leg because and Troy Sanderson had dared him to climb off the roof. 

They hadn’t made it to the hospital when they died. 

It felt really weird being in the hospital now. But today was Emily Patterson’s first day of chemo therapy; and Luke didn't want her to be alone (which thanks to COVID, she had to be). Mitch had dropped her off at the door in the morning, before hugging her tightly.

Everyone in the hospital wore a mask, except for Luke. But to be fair, he wasn’t at the risk of getting the virus or spreading it. The perks of being a phantom.

Emily was brave, even though she was alone. A million different times she gave her name and date of birth. She kept a smile on her face as the kind nurses checked her vitals and hooked her up to the chemotherapy machine. She read a book and watched mindless TV (it was comforting to know that 25 years later there were still endless judge shows on day time television, Luke thought.) After a couple of hours, she began to grow sleepy.

Luke sent for his guitar, and it automatically popped into his hand, and he began to sing, the first song that came to his head, Baby Mine, from Dumbo. 

Emily used to sing it for Luke every night when he was little. 

Luke reached out and touched Emily’s hand; and to his surprise his hand didn’t phase through his. And somehow, miracle of miracles, Emily squeezed back.

Luke jumped with a start, more dedicated than ever to singing to his Mom. 

As he sang, the entire unit seemed to have an air of peace, as music that they could almost hear floated through the ward. Even the nurses remarked to each other that there had been a peaceful calm on that day; and Luke continued to sing until Emily’s treatment was over.

“How was it?” Mitch said, as he helped Emily into the car. “I wish I could have been there.”

“I know. It wasn’t as lonely as I thought it would be. I had the best dream.”

“Oh?”

“I dreamt Luke was there.” Emily said with a smile. “I could feel him, and even hear him.”

“I’m sure in some way, he was with you. The ones we love never truly leave us.” Mitch squeezed Emily’s hand. 

If Only, Luke thought, before poofing out of the back seat, if only his Dad knew how right he was.

****

Luke felt a strange sense of peace as he returned to the garage. Everything was going to be okay. 

“Luke!” Julie said, startled as he came up the driveway. “It’s Luke! How are you, Luke?”

“My name is Luke.” He nodded. “And that’s not just a multi-platinum selling, Grammy winning song that I wrote but got absolutely no credit about and I’m not at all bitter about. But I kinda doubt that’s why you are acting severely weird at the moment?”

“Guilty.” Julie said. “I’m not at all trying to stall you from going in the garage.”

“Why are you totally trying to stall me from being in the garage.”

“How did your Mom do with her treatment?” Julie asked, changing the subject.

“It went better than I thought. She seems kind of tired…but I feel hopeful?”

“That’s great.”

“We’re ready!” Reggie’s voice sounded from inside the garage.

“You’re ready?” Luke raised an eyebrow.

“We knew that today would be a tough day for you. So the guys and I, well, we thought that maybe we could cheer you up a little, and we figured, what would cheer Luke Patterson more than a song? And I tried to write a song, but apparently my absolute perfect writing partner has spoiled me from writing a song without him, so we all brainstormed together and came up with a perfect cover song. So introducing Sargent Phantom’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.”

Julie pulled open the doors of the garage, and took her place at the keyboard. Alex was perched at the drums; Reggie had Luke’s six string instead of his bass; and Flynn, dressed in psychedelic military regalia straight out of Sargent Pepper, had her trumpet.

“One…two…three…four” Alex counted them off, as Julie took over the vocals of “A Little Help From My Friends”. 

As he listened to the musical tribute that his friends had made for him, Luke never felt stronger. This family….this love was unbreakable.

And because of that, so was he.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to leave this on a bright note, as my Mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and finished her chemo this Spring. She is currently in remission with no evidence of disease. I picture a similar result for Emily.
> 
> Happy Yuletide! This turned out to be a completely different type of fic than I started to write but I hope you like it all the same.
> 
> Title from "Soon You'll Get Better" by Taylor Swift.


End file.
